Your tiny group chat might save your life

I write weekly about the strategies, habits, and tactics around cultivating the connections that matter to you.

You're tired of networking events and LinkedIn connections. Instagram feels like shouting into a void. Twitter is whatever it's called this week. And yet, the most valuable professional relationship you'll build this year might happen in a six-person Signal group where someone just posted a picture of their burnt bagel.

I'm seeing something shift. People are done with the performance of social media. They want real connection. And they're finding it in small, private groups that'll never show up on anyone's feed.

The hidden group economy

I'm in ten of these groups right now. One has vendor friends who've stayed tight for over ten years. Another is local founders who are all in the arena, not just noodling on tech news. There's the group from a trip last spring that somehow never died. And honestly, I check these more than any social platform.

The WHO just released data showing that one in six people worldwide experiences loneliness, with approximately 871,000 deaths linked to loneliness each year. That's 100 deaths every single hour. We're literally dying from lack of connection while scrolling through feeds of thousands of "friends."

The research backs up what we're all feeling. Users are gravitating toward smaller, more private groups as a respite from mainstream social media noise. Instead of broad interest groups, people are seeking spaces that reflect their unique blend of interests and lifestyles. These micro-communities foster deeper connections because they're built around overlapping passions and shared experiences.

Think about it. When's the last time you had a real conversation on Facebook? Now think about your small group chats. That's where the actual relationships live.

When to actually do this

Stop overthinking it. Here are moments when creating a small group makes perfect sense:

You just had coffee with a few people - Don't let that energy dissipate. Create the group before you leave the coffee shop. Title it something specific: "September Coffee Crew" or "Founders Who Drink Too Much Caffeine."

You discover shared interests - Know three people who love punk rock? That's a group. Met a handful of people obsessed with the same niche hobby? Group. The more specific the interest, the better the group.

You're at a conference or on a trip - These are goldmines. Everyone's having the same experience at the same time. Create a group for everyone you met. Keep the conversation going after you all leave. Most people want this but nobody actually does it.

You work with people you genuinely like - Not the company Slack channel. A separate group for the people you'd actually want to grab drinks with. The ones where you can drop the professional mask.

Most groups you create will fizzle out, and that's fine. The upside is massive - long-running relationships and unexpected collaborations. The downside is nothing - just another forgotten thread. You're not asking for commitment, just creating space where good things might happen.

How to not be weird about it

Ask first. Simple: "Hey, would you be up for a small group with [person] and [person] to stay connected?" or “Hey, creating a group to talk about ________ - can I add you?”

Don't wait for critical mass. Even if just one other person says yes, that's a group. And by doing the work of creating it, you're already providing value as the connector.

Once people agree, keep it casual: "Really enjoyed meeting you all. Made this group to keep the conversation going. No pressure to engage."

That's it.

The groups that work tend to have a few things in common. Someone shares something valuable without expecting anything back. People are themselves instead of performing professionalism. The conversation isn't forced - it ebbs and flows naturally.

The real value

Social connection protects health across the lifespan, reduces inflammation, lowers the risk of serious health problems, and fosters mental health. Meanwhile, loneliness increases the risk of stroke, heart disease, diabetes, cognitive decline, and premature death.

This isn't soft stuff. This is literally life and death.

The people in my vendor group have sent work my way. The founder group has led to partnerships (and a couple awesome t-shirts). But more importantly, these are people who get what I'm dealing with. Who understand the weird challenges of running a business or navigating a career transition. Who'll text back when things get difficult. Or just love sharing their newest punk rock finds.

You can't manufacture this on a public social platform. The groups that matter are the ones nobody else sees.

So try it. Create a small group this week. It might die immediately. Or it might become one of the most valuable parts of your network. Either way, you lose nothing and potentially gain relationships that actually matter.

Your next great collaboration probably won't come from a viral post. It'll come from a random Tuesday message in a group of six people who happen to care about the same weird thing you do.

Until next week, Zvi

P.S. If you start a group chat called Networking Anonymous, I want in.

On YouTube: A/B/C Networking: The Simple Prioritization System That Changes Everything

Ever feel like your network’s perfectly organized but not actually working for you? In this video, we’ll talk about why organizing contacts isn’t the same as prioritizing relationships—and how one simple shift can totally change your networking game.

What you’ll learn:

• Why “organizing” your contacts can hold you back

• How to use the Grocery Store Test to spot your true priorities

• The simple A/B/C system for focusing on the right people

• Why your A-list should energize you, not drain you

• How to build a relationship routine that actually feels good to do

You can see all my videos and interviews on my channel! If you find these helpful, I’d appreciate a like, subscribe, and share with a friend, colleague, or enemy.

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