you’ll be fine

I write weekly about the strategies, habits, and tactics around cultivating the connections that matter to you.

Maybe your nervous system is right. Reaching out to Tiffany after a couple years of no communication may, in fact, lead you to get torn to shreds by a sabre-tooth tiger.

Research on the nervous system, particularly the Polyvagal Theory, shows that our bodies are wired to detect social cues as potential threats, triggering the same responses used in life-threatening situations. When we experience social discomfort, our autonomic nervous system (ANS) activates defensive states (such as "fight or flight" or freezing), similar to how it would respond to physical danger.

This insight explains why socially uncomfortable situations, such as public speaking or confronting others, can feel so overwhelming. The nervous system treats these moments as if they were life-threatening, triggering heightened stress responses that are difficult to control.

Don’t feel bad that you find yourself resisting reaching out to a past client - even if you did a great job and ended things on a high note. Doing things that are socially “unsafe” may have indeed been a risk for your caveperson uncle.

Treat this as an opportunity - most of your peers face the same resistance. And most of them will let fear win, and give themselves every excuse to not engage.

You can be one of the few.

The simple trick: separate the action from the outcome. Completely ignore what might happen - you can’t control that. Just focus on what you can control.

Until next week,

-Zvi

If you found this valuable, have you snagged my course on cultivating your network?

I’ve spent the past 12 years helping people like you grow their businesses and careers by cultivating the relationships that matter. I took everything I’ve learned and practiced and put it in a professionally produced online course.

You can grab it for free right now. ➡