You don't need the michelin star

I write weekly about the strategies, habits, and tactics around cultivating the connections that matter to you.

You get an invite to dinner at your friend's place. The one with the cramped apartment with the oven that might have not heated everything through properly. And right there in the message: "Just FYI, I probably won't have time to clean before you arrive."

Do you decline? Hell no. You show up anyway. And those dinners? They're always the best ones.

Meanwhile, I know people who've been "planning" to host something for three years. They're waiting for the right moment. When the kitchen remodel is done. When they have the right plates. When they can afford that nice restaurant.

Spoiler alert: that moment never comes.

Stop waiting for the perfect dinner party

Here's what we get wrong about hosting. We think the venue matters. We think the food matters. We think having our life together matters.

None of it matters as much as we think.

I host dinners at completely forgettable sports bars. I have another friend who explicitly tells people they're serving frozen pizza. The burger could be wagyu or it could be from a gas station. The wine could be $8 or $80.

What actually matters? That it happened at all.

There's probably a difference between meeting someone at a Starbucks versus the Four Seasons hotel bar. There's definitely a difference between a Michelin-starred chef's table and a dive bar. And yes, you would of course notice whether your wine is served out of a crystal decanter or a box. But that difference is maybe 5% of what makes the connection work.

The other 95%? That you both showed up. That you had the conversation. That you made the effort.

Perfect is the enemy of done. And in relationship-building, done beats perfect every single time.

Think about your most memorable moments with friends. Were they at fancy restaurants or in someone's cramped living room? Were they over Instagram-worthy meals or pizza eaten standing up? The venue fades. The connection stays.

Taking action

Stop waiting for perfect. Here's your homework:

This week, invite someone to something. Anything. Coffee at a chain. Lunch at that mediocre sandwich place near your office. A walk around the block.

If you're feeling ambitious, host something small. Tell people upfront it's casual. "Hey, throwing together a last-minute dinner at my place Tuesday. Nothing fancy. You in?"

Remove the pressure. The moment you take the pressure off yourself to be perfect, you make it easier for everyone else to just show up and be human.

The best gift you can give your network isn't access to exclusive venues or premium experiences. It's the gift of your time and attention. Everything else is just logistics.

Your messy apartment with paper plates? Better than the fancy restaurant you'll book "someday".

Until next week, Zvi

P.S. What's stopping you from hosting something? Hit reply and tell me. I bet it's not as big a barrier as you think.

On YouTube: Why High Performers Keep These 3 Close (Do You?)

If you’ve been told to “grow your network,” this video will flip that idea on its head. I’m sharing the three types of allies who genuinely move your life and career forward — and why you probably already know them.

What we cover:

• Why bigger networks don’t equal better relationships (and what the research really says)

• The Champion: the person who advocates for you when you’re not in the room

• The Challenger: the person who pushes you with honesty instead of comfort

• The Connector: the person who opens doors you didn’t know existed

• Practical steps to identify and strengthen these relationships starting today

You can see all my videos and interviews on my channel! If you find these helpful, I’d appreciate a like, subscribe, and share with a friend, colleague, or enemy.

If you found this valuable, you might love Relatable. It’s the CRM built from the ground up to help you grow your network, not your business pipeline (but it does that too).