Why joining a community isn't optional anymore

I write weekly about the strategies, habits, and tactics around cultivating the connections that matter to you.

I used to think I had this whole community thing figured out. I showed up to events, shook hands, collected LinkedIn profiles. I was technically a member of various groups - the entrepreneur meetup, the local mastermind, the industry watercooler, even that random leadership book club I attended twice.

But here's what I missed: I was going through the motions without understanding the game.

Then the pandemic hit, and suddenly I realized how thin my connections really were. Those surface-level interactions evaporated overnight. The people who thrived were the ones who had built real community - not just networks, but actual relationships with depth.

The science is clear

Research shows that loneliness impacts our health as much as smoking 15 cigarettes a day. Our nervous systems are literally wired to detect social isolation as a threat. When we lack genuine community, our bodies respond like we're facing physical danger.

But community membership does more than keep us alive - it keeps us growing. When you're part of a real community, you get access to collective intelligence. You learn faster, spot opportunities sooner, and bounce back from setbacks quicker.

What community actually gives you

Shared experiences build unshakeable trust. Remember those college friendships where you could go months without talking, then pick up exactly where you left off? That's the power of shared context. Community creates those bonds through regular interaction and mutual investment.

You get to invest in rising stars instead of chasing peak performers. Everyone wants dinner with the Fortune 500 CEO. But what if you were in their corner when they were still figuring it out? Community puts you alongside people on trajectories, not just people at destinations.

Your problems become solvable. When you hit a wall alone, you're stuck with your own perspective. In community, someone has either faced your exact challenge or knows someone who has. It's like having a personal board of directors on call.

You discover capabilities you didn't know you had. Other people see potential in us that we miss. They'll refer opportunities, suggest connections, and push us toward challenges we'd never attempt alone.

My own wake-up call

I was technically a member of several communities but barely paying attention. I'd show up occasionally, grab the free lunch, maybe exchange a few pleasantries. Classic sleepwalking through opportunity.

The inflection point came when I actually stopped to tally what these communities had given me. Referrals I'd received without asking. Introductions that led to partnerships. Advice that saved me months of trial and error. Problems solved by casual conversations in hallways.

I was benefiting enormously from communities I was barely participating in. That's when it hit me - if I was getting this much value while essentially coasting, what would happen if I actually engaged?

Now I'm all in. I host regularly, participate actively, and actually follow up with people. The difference is night and day.

How to choose communities worth your time

Not all communities are created equal. The best ones aren't just networking groups in disguise.

Look for communities that sharpen your craft. Join groups where people are obsessed with getting better at what they do. Whether it's a mastermind for entrepreneurs, a writers' circle, or a design collective, find spaces where the conversation centers on improvement, not just opportunity.

Find mutual support, not just mutual benefit. The right community celebrates your wins and helps you process your losses. These are people who remember your kid's name, check in during tough times, and genuinely care about your success beyond what you can do for them.

Skip the lead generation groups. If the first question everyone asks is "what's your ideal client," keep walking. The best business relationships grow from genuine connection, not from treating humans like marketing channels.

Test the authenticity factor. Do people share real challenges, or just highlight reels? Are conversations substantive or surface-level? Can you disagree without being dismissed? Authentic communities create space for vulnerability and growth.

Watch for consistent engagement. Look for communities where the same faces show up regularly, where people build on each other's ideas across multiple conversations. One-off events create acquaintances. Regular gatherings create relationships.

Then show up consistently

Once you find your communities, make it easy to stay engaged. Set reminders to text members. Block time for deeper conversations. Host something small - even coffee for three people counts.

Most importantly, separate the action from the outcome. Don't reach out calculating what you'll get back. Just show up, contribute, and trust that good things follow good intentions.

Community isn't networking. It's not even optional anymore. It's how humans are designed to thrive. The question isn't whether you should join a community - it's which ones deserve your investment.

Until next week, Zvi

P.S. You don’t need to join five new groups. Just start with the communities you’re already in—show up one level deeper this week.

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