when they never ask about you

I write weekly about the strategies, habits, and tactics around cultivating the connections that matter to you.

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"So tell me more about your latest project!"

I watched as my coffee companion launched into their fourth consecutive story about their business ventures. We were 45 minutes in, and despite multiple hints about my own parallel experiences, they hadn't asked me a single question. Not one.

A mutual contact had insisted I "absolutely had to meet" this person. "They're brilliant! You'll love them!" Maybe they were brilliant, but all I could think about was how desperately I wanted the school nurse to call to pick up my kid.

Here's what struck me: It wasn't just that they dominated the conversation. We all get excited and talk too much sometimes. It was the complete lack of curiosity about who I was sitting across from them. Every subtle opening I offered about my own experience was swiftly redirected back to their narrative.

Dale Carnegie nailed it years ago when he said, "To be interesting, be interested." It's such a simple concept - when you show genuine interest in others, you become more compelling than any accomplishment you could share. Think about it - who would you rather spend time with: someone who hangs on your every word and asks thoughtful questions, or someone who can't wait for you to stop talking so they can continue their monologue?

This matters because it's often a preview of how the relationship will unfold. Someone who shows zero curiosity about you in conversation is unlikely to:

• Think of you when opportunities arise

• Remember anything meaningful about your work or goals

• Put energy into supporting your success

• Engage in genuine give-and-take

The takeaway here is twofold. First, when someone demonstrates this pattern of conversational self-absorption, take note - it's usually a reliable indicator of how they'll approach the relationship going forward. Second, and just as important: don't be that person yourself. Make a conscious effort to show genuine interest in others.

Because let's face it - the best relationships aren't built on impressive monologues. They're built on authentic curiosity and real exchange.

Until next week, Zvi

P.S. Have you sat through a one-sided conversation lately? Hit reply and tell me about it. I promise to ask follow-up questions!

P.P.S. Here is the link to my virtual course. This December is your last opportunity to sign up. So, grab the chance while you can!

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