The Call

“Why is that name showing up?”

I’m sure you’ve had similar experiences. Feel the vibration in your pocket. Expect it to be one of the usual callers. If it’s a bunch of digits, probably someone trying to sell you something. This was neither.

I was staring at the phone, in my bedroom, knowing that this was going to be a very different Tuesday night. Chills. Do I answer it? Eff it. That one call set off a flurry of conversations that night and the next morning. That call ended up changing my life. Years of slow, intentional, thankless work. All that led to that call. In other words, I shouldn’t have been too surprised to see that name pop up at 9 PM.

(and no, it wasn’t someone offering to increase our site ranking in Google)

Years later, I look at that call as the perfect example of how the right relationships can change your life. How do we repeat those magical moments that appear out of thin air?

By treating people as people, not as prospects. Through having actual relationships with your relationships.

How do we build a thriving network of connections that keep amazing things coming? Strong relationships, the people who will have your back for the rest of your career and life. Loose ties that you can always tap into when needed.

But nurturing the right relationships is hard work. Playing long-term games with people isn’t as easy as we’d like it to be.

It feels especially tough now. It feels like everything these days is uncertain and changing.

We’re coming out of a couple of years of being physically apart. There was a real risk with seeing anyone - not just strangers, but our friends, coworkers, and families. We might get sick or die - them too. Now that it’s safe, it’s as if we almost forgot how to engage with anyone - camera on or not.

And it goes much deeper than that. Let’s give ourselves a little bit of a break.

We’re wired to trust and live with the handful in our tribe. We’re not wired to be simultaneously connected with thousands. The endless stream of messages and updates from them is exhausting, and not getting any better. The people we really care about - and want to care about us - are hard to notice and remember.

No wonder we feel so lonely these days.

Want to be better at building relationships? That’s why The Sphere exists.

I’m starting the Sphere to give us a place to talk about how to build and form deep relationships. Relationships with clients and prospects that need your trust. Partnerships that can change your career and life. Friendships that lead to a life well lived.

There’s way too much talk about how lonely and disconnected we are - personally and professionally. Just do a quick search for “belonging” and you’ll see what we mean. It’s easy to point out the darkness. We love reading about how miserable everyone else is.

Wouldn’t it be exciting if we spoke about solutions? If we knew the best tactics that can form and deepen relationships and community? What if we understood the behavioral blockers in our ancient wiring and smashed through them?

I’ve spent most of the past ten years thinking about this. I’ve now built multiple platforms, most recently Relatable. I wrote a book and now speak about this. I run a training business, GoodSphere, that centers on deepening relationships.

Most importantly, I’m still figuring it out too. As I learn, I’ll share it with you. As will the other writers joining us.

Subscribe to The Sphere, and we’ll share those insights with you. And we’d love to hear yours as well.

And that call? That kicked off the process that led to the acquisition of my first company. All from the right relationships.