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the FAT Network Theory
a simple framework for choosing who actually deserves your attention
Zvi Band
February 18, 2025
I write weekly about the strategies, habits, and tactics around cultivating the connections that matter to you.
That person with 100k Twitter followers who never responds to DMs? The bestselling author who's "too busy" to remember your name? The founder who only talks about their private jet?
Let's be real - we've all been guilty of chasing status over substance when it comes to building our networks.
After a decade of helping thousands of professionals cultivate authentic relationships, I've noticed something: The most successful relationship builders have clear criteria for who they invest their time in. And spoiler alert - it's not about follower counts.
Joe Polish uses "Easy, Lucrative, and Fun" (ELF) as his filter. If someone isn't easy to work with, won't lead to mutual benefit, or isn't enjoyable to be around - why invest the time?
After much self reflection and accidentally pouring too much ghost pepper hot sauce in my chili, triggering a mystical experience, I've landed on an even simpler framework. I call it FAT:
Fun - I have to personally enjoy being around them. Life's too short for forced interactions.
Ambitious - They need to be striving for something, whether personal or professional. That energy is contagious.
Talented - They must have a very particular set of skills (read that out loud in your best Liam Neeson voice).
No, now’s not the time to make any jokes about FAT people. This is serious business!
Taking Action:
Grab a piece of paper (or your Notes app, you digital native you) and write down the last 3-5 people you genuinely enjoyed interacting with. The ones where you walked away energized, not drained.
What do these people have in common? Don't focus on the surface level stuff (job titles, industries, etc). Look deeper - what qualities or traits do they share?
Narrow these common traits down to 2-3 core criteria. Bonus points if you can make it into a snazzy acronym like ELF or FAT.
Test your criteria. Look at your current network and see if it helps you clearly distinguish between who energizes you and who depletes you.
Remember: Whether you use Joe's ELF, my FAT framework, or create your own - the key is having clear criteria that work for YOU. Not what some random newsletter writer tells you to use (yes, even me).
Most people won't take the time to do this exercise. They'll keep chasing status and wondering why their network feels hollow. But you're not most people, are you?
Until next week, Zvi
P.S. What's your filter? Drop a comment below with your own framework - I'd love to hear what works for you.
Feedback is a gift! What did you think this week? |
Ever held back from reaching out because of social fear? You’re not alone—but here’s the secret: that fear is actually your advantage. Let’s break down why most people won’t take action… and how you can.
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