The "checklist" for your next conversation

Happy Tuesday to all 189 of you! If you’re taking the time to read this, mind telling us how we’re doing? If you have any topics you think we should cover, just hit that reply button in your inbox. And as always, the best gift is sharing this with someone you love… or hate, we’re not picky.

Big thanks to Alan Smith for this week’s topic!

Imagine you have a Zoom meeting with a former client who you haven’t caught up with in over a year.

You ask yourself:

• What was she working on again?

• How is she doing personally?

• What should we talk about?

It feels a bit embarrassing to forget important details like these. But it’s natural to lose touch and reconnect again with old friends.

We created our own checklist of things to do before catching up with friends and business colleagues again. Doing a bit of extra effort before our meetings has helped us deepen the relationships in our lives.

Look at your notes about the person you’re meeting

People trust and like to work with people they know. Preparing for a meeting isn’t just about making sure you know what you want to talk about. Sure, you want to make the best use of time - who doesn’t? Treat is as an opportunity to deepen the trusted relationship. And trust is built on having a history together, and showing that you care about them.

Recall all the information you have about them. Details about your last communication. Remembering the last time you’ve seen each other in person. Quick access to their social media profiles for updates.

These relevant details keeps you updated on where they generally are in life and might reveal an opportunity to help, or be helped. Some updates can also be potential items for discussion during the meeting.

“I saw on Twitter that you’re writing a new book. That’s exciting! How is that process going?”

They’ll think you’re a superhero for remembering so much about them when in reality, you simply came prepared. Having a relationship with someone entails having personal context, so invoking these details reminds them of your bond!

This is where a CRM comes in handy and one of the core reasons why we built Relatable.

Have an intention

Remind yourself why you’re having this meeting in the first place. What do you want to walk away with?

If you’re looking to potentially do business together, prepare a generous “offer” for them, or a plan to demonstrate value towards their goals.

Start with small talk

Small talk is important.

So important that we’ve devoted our first edition of The Sphere to writing about it.

Don’t skip it over.

Be genuinely curious

It’s a common mistake for professionals to jump straight into “transactional” kinds of conversations.

Don’t do this, even after the aforementioned small talk. Instead, spend the majority of your time together to connect as humans first.

• “What have you been excited about lately?”

• “How are you feeling about your current job?”

• “How are you doing health-wise? Physically? Mentally?”

People do business with people they like, know, and trust above everything else. Invest time to deepen your friendship. If talking about work come up, feel free to chat about business!

Simply make sure to first frame the conversation to connect as humans and always have their best interest at heart. Don’t lead by talking about work or trying to close a deal.

Express yourself fully

Don’t be shy to share about your life.

Share what you’re thinking about and how you’re really feeling. Be vulnerable. It’s much more humanizing to connect with someone who is flawed than someone who is always hustling and crushing it.

Another byproduct of you sharing about your life is they get a chance to see how they can authentically help you on your journey. Friends genuinely want to help other friends succeed.

Note: If they don’t ask anything about you, that’s a yellow flag. Relationships don’t feel as connecting when one person talks about themselves and isn’t at all curious about the other person. If this happens occasionally, don’t read too much into it. But do keep it in mind as your relationship progresses.

What are they working on right now?

Ask about their current projects. They might be looking to hire someone new. Or get back into a fitness routine. Or make the move to the UK.

These are all openings for you to offer to give. Ask yourself:

• Who do I know that might be a great resource?

• What have I read that could be helpful to share?

• How can I support or be of service in the coming months?

If answers to any of these questions come up during the conversation, make a note to yourself to follow up on those action items.

Close with action items

Recapping your to-dos is a great way to close the meeting. Here’s an example:

“Becky, it was so lovely to catch up! I wrote down three things during our chat that I promise to follow up with you on.

First, I’ll ask my friend who recently exited his company if he’s looking for his next opportunity to potentially join your team. Second, I will send you a link to a book called, Starting Strength, on weight training that has helped me stay in shape.

Lastly, I’ll reach out to two friends I met at SXSW if they’re still living in London. If so, I’ll make an intro so that you can have some new friends as you adjust to the UK!”

If you have an idea to add on top of these, feel free to reply back and let us know. We’d love to hear from you. 😊