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I write weekly about the strategies, habits, and tactics around cultivating the connections that matter to you.
Ever notice how your brain is secretly plotting against your networking success?
I had a client, let's call him Tom, who was absolutely convinced his past clients hated him.
Not because Tom sucked at his job — every review and testimonial proved the opposite. Nope, he was certain they were mad at him for not staying in touch. This fear became a massive wall between him and potentially rekindling valuable relationships — both friendships and that sweet, sweet repeat and referral business.
The brain hack that changed everything
During one of our sessions, I shared a mantra that's been living rent-free in my head since 2021:
"We are only responsible for our second thought and first action."
Sit with that for a second. That first thought that pops up? The one telling Tom "they're gonna hate you for disappearing"? That's not even yours to control.
Tom was skeptical (aren't we all when someone offers simple solutions to complex problems?). But he decided to give it a shot. He picked a past client he'd been particularly anxious about, the one whose name made his stomach do backflips.
His first thought appeared right on schedule: "They're going to be annoyed I'm only reaching out now." But instead of letting that thought win, he caught it and replaced it with his second thought: "What if they're actually happy to hear from me?"
With that tiny mental shift, he took action and sent a message, acknowledging the communication gap and expressing genuine interest in reconnecting.
The response? Overwhelmingly positive. The client was thrilled to hear from him.
The funny part? Tom wasn't even surprised. Deep down, he knew logically that it wouldn't be a problem. He just wasn't aware of how much his own internal narrator was running (and ruining) the show.
Your turn to hack your brain
Name your fear: What story is your brain telling that's keeping you from reaching out to someone? Write it down — seeing it outside your head takes away some of its power.
Craft your second thought: What's a more balanced perspective? Not delusional positivity, just plain logic will do.
Act before your brain catches up: Send that text, make that call, or write that email before your internal saboteur gets a chance to talk you out of it.
The gap between where you are and where you want to be is often just one message away. But your brain will do everything possible to keep you from sending it.
Remember: you can't control your first thought, but you absolutely own what happens next.
Until next week,
Zvi
Feedback is a gift! What did you think this week? |
Ever wonder who you can really count on? In this video, I share a simple $20 test that helps you figure out which relationships in your life are actually built on trust.
We’ll talk about:
What the $20 Test is and how it works
Why more connections ≠ better network
How to audit your relationships (without guilt)
The difference between familiarity and real trust
How to focus on the people who truly have your back
You can see all my videos and interviews on my channel! If you find these helpful, I’d appreciate a like, subscribe, and share with a friend, colleague, or enemy.