Second degree dinners

Welcome to all 201 of you who have joined in the past few weeks. If you’re opening this for the first time, or you’ve been so engrossed in Succession that you forgot what this is about - I write weekly on insights and tactics around building an incredible network of clients, collaborators, and community.

I loved breakfast.

In The Before Times, I would routinely invite 5-6 people to have breakfast. It was an opportunity to catch up with people I hadn’t spoken to in months or years, share problems or ideas we had bouncing around in our heads, and light up an otherwise low-energy Friday morning. Plus, it was an excuse to have breakfast at my favorite coffee shop.

By The Before Times, I mean not only pre-COVID, but also before our mornings became filled with the needs of two young kids, eliminating any chance I had of getting downtown by 8 AM.

So, it became dinner.

Two challenges -

It can feel incredibly intimidating to host a dinner. No matter how many times I do it, and regardless of how everyone has a fantastic experience and asks to be invited back, I still have social anxiety.

Additionally - I only know so many people.

Enter second-degree dinners.

It’s a pretty simple concept. The next time you are thinking about a dinner or event, pair up with someone else. Each of you curate your own invite list.

Social anxiety goes down, with the burden shared between two people.

And you’re now tapping in to two people’s networks, can mean that half or more of the attendees are new to each host.

I’m a big fan of this, and is now my default event.

Taking Action

Getting off the couch and hosting a dinner is a pretty big action step right there. Kudos to those of you who take the plunge.

What do you talk about at a dinner?

My favorite opening questions:

• What is your least favorite condiment? (My favorite opener)

• What are you reading or watching?

• What are you constantly thinking about these days?

• If you really knew me, you would know…

Watch This

As I continue feeling my way into video, I posted a video about a useful reminder if you end up hosting a dinner full of great conversations and personal insights.

Further Reading

I had been doing this for a couple years before someone shared Nat’s post, hence the name Second-Degree Dinners.