Not Excited for a Meeting?

Happy Tuesday to all of you! If you’re taking the time to read this, mind telling us how we’re doing? After you’ve read (or at least skimmed!) this post, give us a quick rating at the bottom, or reply back with any thoughts.

It was late on a Thursday afternoon when my calendar pinged me with a reminder, Meeting with Joe. 

Ugh. . . I really don’t want to.

We’ve all been there – long days at the end of long weeks where we have to dig deep to keep going. The prospect of meeting with Joe is causing our inner three year old to lay on the floor in a full-on tantrum. 

Of course, I knew I could cancel on Joe. I hate to break a commitment unless I have to. 

In a past life, I would just slog through the meeting, wanting it to end as soon as it’s over. 

I’m sure you’ve been in this same situation many times. 

What do we do? 

Know thyself

Most of us don’t spend enough time and energy reflecting on what we feel and what we need. This failure to account for our own needs is a recipe for burnout.

Rather than always trying to just tough it out, we should remember that the relationships we’re building should be more marathons than sprints. We have to keep ourselves healthy and motivated enough to stay in it for the long haul.

When I saw my meeting with Joe coming up, I paused and did a self check in. Why do I feel this way?

Common reasons we want to cancel

There are a lot of reasons why meeting dread may arise. Some of them are super common.

You’re exhausted. 

Once you recognize this, you can make an informed decision. Can you reschedule? If not, is there something you can do to boost your energy? Double espressos, a splash of cold water on your face, and having a friend surprise you with an airhorn are all tried and true methods.

You’re not sure what the meeting is about. 

This is surprisingly draining. When we don’t know what to expect, we start to spin on trying to guess what to talk about, and maybe subconsciously assume the worst. 

One easy solution is to create or ask for an agenda. 

Try sending a note along the lines of “I want to make sure we make good use of our time. Do you have an idea of what you’d like to cover to make this meeting as valuable as possible?” If neither of you has a clear agenda, then you have another reason to cancel.

You’re not interested in them professionally. 

This one is tricky because once we label somebody as uninteresting, we’re never going to want to meet with them.

When meeting someone, our mind tends to lock on to the transactional nature of the conversation - what they do professionally, what they might want or need from us. It’s easy to ignore that you’re (most likely) meeting with humans.

The answer here is to recognize that you probably don’t know as much about this person as you think you do. 

Choose to embrace curiosity. What might you have in common that you haven’t discovered yet? Try a little small talk!

You can combine strategies

Once I understood that I was dreading my meeting, I used a combination of strategies to motivate myself. I went through emails to refresh myself on the agenda. 

Remembering the why of the meeting helped raise my motivation.

On reflection, I realized I was also exhausted. 

Knowing that fatigue was the issue gave me more clarity into how to handle the upcoming meeting. I joined from my phone, and mentioned to Joe that I has been in front of a camera all day (yep, lead with vulnerability!), and needed to move around. Given the enormous amount of time we spend starting at a camera/screen these days, everyone will understand. Joe joined in, and we had a productive and fantastic conversation. 

BTW - Joe’s name has been changed for his protection. My apologies to all the Joes out there.