No Need to Respond

Happy Tuesday to all 181 of you! If you’re taking the time to read this, mind telling us how we’re doing? If you have any topics you think we should cover, just hit that reply button in your inbox. And as always, the best gift is sharing this with someone you love… or hate, we’re not picky.

“I would love to hear the latest update!”

Few words are more likely to fill me with dread. One more obligation added to my to-do list.

I bet that’s not the feeling you want to evoke in your old friends and past colleagues. They are busy enough as it is (as are you). Now you’re asking them to think and respond?

Luckily, we have a simple answer for how to stay in touch without leaving the fly-in-the-ointment vibe in somebody’s inbox.

Don’t.

Pay it forward

We’re huge fans of paying it forward – the idea that we should put positive and generous energy out into the world first. Do that consistently, and good things will probably circle back.

Here’s one way you can do that: drop a no need to respond (NNTR) to your next message.

Many people think that they always need to have an ask. While it’s true that it helps to ask for what we want, always having an agenda isn’t ideal.

And if we want to show we care about them, what’s the harm in asking about their life, right? Well… there’s another way to look at it. Often, our real intention is not to get something immediately, but to give. We want to show care, stay in touch, and build a relationship.

One of the biggest stumbling blocks that prevents us from reaching out to people is the fear that we’re going to burden them. And implying that you expect a response from them can feel like that. Adding NNTR to a message neturalizes that risk.

No obligation, win-win

Marking a message as NNTR can be incredibly freeing. We’re not creating any obligation to respond or asking for anything, so we can share whatever is on our minds.

No need to think of a call to action. What’s the right next step? A call? Meeting? Something else? Forget it. That can wait.

It also helps us down the line. If we have an update to share with a larger group, NNTR reduces the risk of being overwhelmed by too many responses. People who would feel obligated to send a response will often be grateful to be excused from writing back.

Ironically, that feeling of freedom and no obligation often does encourage people to write back. We all instinctively don’t like to do things that feel like obligations. Turn an obligation into an option and that changes everything.

And those who do write back will probably have something important to say. NNTR can lead to more quality over quantity in responses.

We’ve written recently about the importance of reaching out to people in our lives, who probably like us more than we realize. Contacting people in our social networks with no expectation of a response is a fantastic way to invest in the relationships that enrich our lives and businesses.

Now sprinkle in some vulnerability in those messages and relationships can deepen quickly.

Leave people feeling good

As always, remember that a primary objective of communication is to strengthen the relationship. Rather than trying to trigger a particular action (an ask), it can be even better to leave people with an emotional response. If you make people feel, they’ll remember you. Artists and musicians get absolutely worshipped for exactly that.

Make them feel something positive, and people will probably want to interact with you more. They could want to hang out and barbecue on the weekend, or do a business deal, or nothing at all.

That’s paying it forward – making them feel cared for, with no agenda. Chances are, something good will follow.