Generative over transactional

Welcome to all of you who have joined in the past few weeks. If you’re opening this for the first time, or you’ve been so obsessed with Threads that you forgot what this is about - I write weekly on insights and tactics around building an incredible network of clients, collaborators, and community.

There’s always that little bit of shame every time I walk into a coffee shop.

Here I am, about to drop about eight bucks for a matcha latte that not only would cost me fifty cents were I to make it at home, I could make it in a tenth of the time it’ll take for one to be handed to me.

Imagine if every time you were to walk up to the counter, the barista smiled at you, handed you an expertly crafted drink with your name written on it, and then turned to the next customer without you having to reach for anything in your pocket.

None of us expect the above scenario to happen on a regular basis. We’re quite comfortable with the idea that most interactions we have with people are transactional. We make a clear exchange of value, without any further expectations. Our world runs on this.

Now imagine if the next time an old work colleague called you up for advice on a career change they’re considering. After a fifteen-minute call, would you hang up, switch over to Venmo, and send them a request to pay you $75?

Absolutely not - these are generative relationships.

These types of relationships create new value, asymmetrically in both time and amount. You may provide advice that helps them with a new career, without any immediate reciprocation. It may come later (if at all) in the form of a thank you, a coffee invite… or an introduction to their new boss that leads to millions in sales.

In transactional relationships, 1+1=2

In generative relationships, 1+1=♾️

Taking Action

It’s fine to label some relationships as purely transactional, and leave it at that. Those are the people that come into our lives briefly and disappear into the ether.

The relationships that we believe have the potential to be generative - we believe we can help each other in the future, even if unclear right now - those are the ones we want to latching on to.

The next meeting you have, ask yourself - are we here just to complete a specific task, or is there more potential here?

If it’s the latter, it’s important to remember that our ephemeral memory often fails us.

What is one thing you can do today to keep track of the people you choose to stay in touch with over the coming months and years? Is it a spreadsheet? LinkedIn? A CRM? (I’m obviously biased).

Watch This

I have been developing a thesis on what friendship means in this current age (hint: a lot has changed), and this piece by School of Life was an obvious-yet-insightful restatement.