- Be More Relatable
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- Aristotle didn’t want to connect with you on LinkedIn
I write weekly on tactics and insights on cultivating authentic relationships that matter to your business, career, and life.
HEADS UP: Starting next week, we’re rebranding this newsletter to Be More Relatable- which is what we’re here to do!
Think back to the coffee meeting you had last week. I don’t know why I keep calling it coffee meeting, as I’m among the deplorables who drink matcha and won’t shut up about it. So, fine, the last coffee or tea meeting you had last week -
Were they a bit of sunshine on your calendar - someone you just enjoyed spending time with?
Were they someone you met up with to exchange some business leads or gossip with?
Were they someone who you truly care about, and know they care about you?
In The Nicomachean Ethics, Aristotle identified three kinds of friendship. While written ~350 B.C.E., it makes a ton of sense today.
Whenever this concept surfaces in my notes, it forces me to reflect on the relationships I’m putting attention to.
Is the “love each other for utility love the other not in his own right, but insofar as they gain some good themselves from him?” Are we just in this because we each get something out of it? That might be fine - as CEO, there were plenty of people I’d meet up with just to share leads and industry news with - and that’s it.
Are they among “those who love for pleasure; for they like a witty person not because of his character, but because he is pleasant to them.” Like you, I’ve had plenty of coworkers or “conference buddies” - we’d have a good time hanging out and killing time together - but that’s it.
Aristotle shares his belief: “But complete friendship is the friendship of good people similar in virtue; for they wish goods in the same way to each other insofar as they are good, and they are good in their own right. Now those who wish goods to their friends for their friend’s own sake are friends most of all; for they have this attitude because of the friend himself, not coincidentally. Hence these peoples’ friendship lasts as long as they are good; and virtue is enduring.”
You face a choice here, as you put more intention into building and maintaining your network - assuming that’s the case, as you’re reading this instead of seeing the latest Twister movie (BTW did you know Bill Paxton died? Sorry Zvi stay focused).
Do you want people that you can meet for coffee with? People that may refer you? Or are you looking to surround yourself by people who inspire you, who root for you, who make you a better professional (and human) - and you’re eager to reciprocate?
The good news is - it doesn’t have to be a choice. There’s a time and place for all of them, but the more you let your intuition guide you to the “good people” - the more everything else falls into place.
Until next week!
-Zvi
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