Relating over calendars

I write weekly on insights and tactics around building an incredible network of clients, collaborators, and community.

For those of you who celebrate, Happy 4th of July! I’m celebrating it by driving our eldest to summer camp for the first time, then getting together with a few friends to consume all the grilled foods and adjust to being a family of 3 for a week!

A core element of deepening relationships is knowing and understanding what each other has been/is going through. If we peek behind the curtain of a flashy resume and meet the real human, we see more than just professional accolades. We see personal hobbies, family trips, odd food preferences (like hating mayonnaise), ailing parents, and ambitious goals. The more we connect around that, the better.

The curtain isn’t always easy to pull back. I spend a lot of time writing about that.

Oftentimes, there comes opportunities to connect because you know what they’re going through.

Case in point - March 2020. Did you notice that almost every conversation had a very different opening and tone than before? And people were more comfortable sharing - because they knew you were going through the same global event?

Case in point - today. Almost every American is observing Independence Day in some way today. Barbecues. Fireworks. Families. Watermelon. Politics.

Taking Action

I invite you to do go beyond “Wishing you a Happy 4th!” That’s what the optometrist you last visited five years ago sends to everyone.

Instead, consider sending a more personal message. Lead with vulnerability - share something about you, to get them to open up as well. And don’t ask for a response - they will if they feel like it.

“Hey! Just want to wish you a happy 4th! I’m dropping off our eldest at summer camp (!!!!) then the usual BBQ. Hope you have a fantastic day!”

Further Reading

I’m always eager to understand how others structure and organize their database, and Alisa shares hers.

More on shared experiences in this older post.