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I write weekly about the strategies, habits, and tactics around cultivating the connections that matter to you.
It took sprinting 5 kilometers with a steady stream of Bad Religion blasting in my ears for me to admit…. I’m not the world’s best wedding guest.
Over the span of our lives, we’ll find ourselves in a variety of social environments.
Dinners.
Coffee Meetings.
Cricket Matches.
Weddings.
Networking Events.
Water Parks.
Some of these are conducive to a deep 1:1 connection. Some are great for a group discussion. Some are built for random interactions.
Each of these environments come with their own mostly-unwritten rules of what you should and shouldn’t do. A crowded nightclub at 2 AM isn’t the time to be trading book recommendations. And if you spot someone interesting at a coffee shop, I’d advise you not to go up to them and show off your dance moves.
In some of these situations, you’ll be in your zone. Others you’ll be a fish out of water, begging to be thrown back.
Take the same people I was with at a wedding and sit me down at a coffee meeting, we’ll have a great conversation. Put us around a dinner table, and I’ve got a bank of questions to get everyone to open up. Put me in a banquet hall with 80s music, and I’m about as exciting as the chair in the corner.
Taking Action
When it comes to building out your network, you have a lot of influence over the social environment you meet someone in. This is an important time to figure out what works for you, not some book or annoying newsletter author (not me, right?) tells you you should do. Take a minute to reflect on the types of social situations where you feel totally comfortable and open.
Are you the life of the party? Host one.
Do you need an activity? Go for a hike.
Do you love dinners that last until the wait staff beg to go home? 👍🏼
Each of these might be the same combination of people. But what you do to nurture and enjoy those relationships will vary widely.
And, unlike me, don’t stress if you find yourself at a wedding with them, standing in the corner.
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