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- Everybody poops
I write weekly about the strategies, habits, and tactics around cultivating the connections that matter to you.
I still remember the sweat. Literal, actual sweat.
I was a first-time founder, about to walk into a meeting with one of the most well-known VCs on Sand Hill Road. The kind of person whose name alone makes other founders sit up straighter. I had rehearsed my pitch so many times that my dog was sick of hearing it. I was pacing around my office like I was about to meet the king.
My mentor at the time could see me spiraling. He stopped me mid-pace and said something I'll never forget: "You know what that person is probably thinking about right now? What they're having for lunch."
That one sentence changed how I walk into every room.
We do this all the time. We build people up in our heads to the point where they stop being human. The investor becomes a gatekeeper to our future. The CEO becomes a mythical figure who holds our career in their hands. The industry leader becomes someone whose approval we desperately need.
And then we forget something obvious. They woke up this morning, brushed their teeth, and probably argued with their kid about screen time. They have back pain. They get nervous too. They're trying to figure it out, just like you.
Marcus Aurelius wrote about this nearly 2,000 years ago in Meditations. He pointed out that Alexander the Great, the most powerful conqueror in history, was buried in the same earth as his slaves. Same dirt. Same ending. All that status and power didn't change the fundamentals of being human.
So how does a Roman emperor's journal entry apply to your next networking event or big meeting?
Simple. While you're obsessing over someone's title, their status, whether they'll greenlight your dreams or shut them down, they're just a person. Figuring out life. Dealing with their own insecurities. Wondering if their jokes land. Probably hungry.
The book is literally called Everybody Poops. It's for toddlers, but the lesson scales.
When you remember that the person across the table is just as human as you are, something shifts. You stop performing and start connecting. You ask better questions because you're actually curious, not just trying to impress. You listen instead of waiting for your turn to talk.
Taking action
Before your next high-stakes meeting or conversation, try this:
Spend 30 seconds humanizing the other person. Picture them doing something mundane. Grocery shopping. Scrolling their phone on the couch. Burning toast. Whatever kills the mystique.
Drop one level of formality. You don't need to be unprofessional. But you also don't need to talk like you're addressing the Senate. Talk to them like a person, because that's what they are.
Ask one question that has nothing to do with business. "Read anything good lately?" or "What are you doing this weekend?" You'd be surprised how quickly the dynamic shifts.
The person you're intimidated by is not a title. They're not a LinkedIn headline. They're a human being who had cereal for breakfast and is doing their best. And guess what? So are you.
Act accordingly.
Until next week, Zvi
P.S. The industry titan you follow on LinkedIn also sends a text and then immediately worries it came across wrong. The title changes. The spiral doesn't.
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Most people think networking success comes from meeting more people. In reality, the most important relationship you’ll ever build is the one with yourself. In this video, I introduce the $20 Test, a simple but powerful way to evaluate the strength of your network and focus your time on relationships built on real trust.
We talk about:
What the $20 Test is and why it reveals the true strength of your network
Why thousands of connections often create the illusion of opportunity
The difference between superficial contacts and trusted relationships
How to audit your current network to identify your strongest connections
Practical ways to invest your time in relationships that actually matter
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